Today's Funny

Now this is how a braai pakkie should look like! Living in South Africa is always fun.


M

Koos & Piet's Pick-up Lines - Classy

1) Did you fart?
cauz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded?
cauz you sure are special.

3) My Love for you is like diarrhea .
I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card?
cauz I'd like to sign you out

5) Is there a mirror in your pants?
cauz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel,
I'd store my nuts in your hole.

7) You might not be the best looking girl here,
but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - 'Fat Penguin!'
Woman - 'WHAT?'
Man - 'I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.'

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room...

11) Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If you're gunna regret this in the morning,
we can sleep til afternoon.

13) Your face reminds me of a wrench,
every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up

M

Return My Pants - Tracking your stuff

ReturnMyPants is a free service that tracks things that you lend out to others and that you borrow from others. This is quite handy, because I'm one of those people who doesn't know where on earth my stuff are. I've found my belongings in my friends rooms years later and I also have random stuff that I don't know who to give back to.

This might be the solution to a few things. Now just to remember to make a note of the things I lend out. :-P
M

Drunk Pumpkin

Today's Funny

Ouch!



M

Crashing a car for a birthday

Insurance Institute for Highway Safety crashed a 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air into a 2009 Chevrolet Malibu. A spectacular crash and a fantastic visual display of safety and the road travelled by engineers to make our lives a little bit more safer.

There is a bit controversy around the video unfortunately. Apparently the Bel-Air is very old, and you can actually see a red dust whooshing from the bottom of the Bel-Air as well as flakes flying in the air after the crash, the dust and flakes is rust! It is believed that the Bel-Air would have performed better if it wasn't so old.

Well I'm not quite sure as crumple zones is very important in car safety. You be the judge :)

Yahoo Open Question Fails

Some people just ask the stupidest questions. Here are a few questions that people have asked on Yahoo open questions. Some of these are just silly. *shakes head
















M

The Keyboard for Blonds

The Keyboard for blonds is fabulous and totally fashionable. It has replaced boring old traditional keys like Enter into “Yes! I want it!”, Caps Lock into “WARNING! size XXL letters”, Backspace into “Oops!”, Escape into “No!”, Page Up into “Way Up”, Page Down into “Way Down”, and other very "blond" sayings. At last using a computer is easy for everyone.

This fabulous keyboard is not just a gimmick, it is fully functional and works with all desktops and laptops including MAC, Windows, and Linux.

Never thought any one could fall in love with a keyboard. ;-)

M

Force Dynamics - Game Force Simulation

This is a great "toy" from Force Dynamics. It is a high fidelity motion system that brings the rider inside whatever simulation, game or training system is running by making the simulated forces and impacts real.

It features 3 degrees of freedom, control by three Force Dynamics actuators, which provide 3hp peak and 500lbs of peak thrust each; 2gs of vertical acceleration, a 51.5-inch 16:9 LCD projection screen, and +/- 30 degrees of pitch/roll, 5.1 Surround sound.

I was wondering what happens to the driver if he hits a wall. Ouch! It might make ma a bit nauseous, but I could just imagine the experience that you could get out of this bad boy. Loads of fun.

M

Today's Funny

“Gay-Dar” – An Internet Reality

At varsity you are always asked to do unreal projects in unreal time spans, much like the real word. Recently two IT-Students at MIT worked on a project in the Ethnics class that reads your facebook profile. That's not all your information can tell this application. By looking at your friends, this application can tell if the person in question is gay or not! Nicknamed the “GayDar” by fellow students this application is part the field of social network analysis field, your information can be examined and because of what the connections between people can tell us, it is quite accurate at predicting who might be a terrorist or even the likelihood of a persons happiness .

Medallions Room Escape

Medallions Room Escape is a good room escape game, the first one I've enjoyed since the Russian one we played in July.

You start in one room, looking around for subtle clues. You have to use everything you find, from math equations, object puzzles to matching colours. Some of the things are hard to find, like the yellow medallion slot, but if you keep your eyes open you will get there.

Try it out and let me know what you think.

M

Nerd Venn Diagram - What type of Nerd are you?

Apparently I'm a Geek. Not quite Nerd yet. What are you?


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AMD unveils Eyefinity and next-gen Radeon GPU - LAN on 6 Screens

AMD had a press confirence where they unveiled the next generation ATI graphics parts.
AMD's new GPUs support a brand new feature called Eyefinity, a method by which to connect up to six monitors to a single video card. There are no limitations in the size of the screens either.

This is exciting stuff. Personally I feel completely lost if I don't have two screens. With six screens you would have a heck of a lot of desktop space. This would make development and analysis a lot easier. No more flicking between screens. What a convenience.

On the gaming side of things, it's a dream. Now when you play WOW, flight simulator or most first person shooters, it's going to feel like you are actually there. I recall the difference that wide-screen did to my lanning experience. It gives you a great advantage.

I would love to have one.




See the full article Here.

M

Today's Funny

Semen-Based Recipes???? Apparently Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties? Like wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. No really! WHAT!!?

Cat of the week

M

icloud – 3gig free online cloud computer

Having an icloud account is like having an online virtual PC that opens in your web browser.  Just imagine the convenience.  If you don’t have a ftp site, no worry.  You can just upload to your icloud and share the files to whom ever, where ever they are.  If you don’t have a flash drive and you need to save a file and use it somewhere else, no problem.  You get 3gb for free and if you pay you can get up to 80gb. 

icloud looks and works like a normal desktop.  You have your own background, folders, IMs and mail application. 

There are a few cons to icloud.  It might start using up cap if you start using it actively, which might be a problem for South African users that don’t have uncapped internet. Secondly it uses up a bit of memory to render.  And lastly it only runs in Firefox and IE. 

Check out the tutorial video to get a better idea.

Check out their homepage

 

M

Chrome 3 Released wow that was fast.

Google released 3 major browser versions in little less time than a year. And each version boasted more speed and power. The release of chrome 3.0 is no different. Chrome 3 will have a 25% speed increase on its predecessor and has new features as well. If you are a windows 7 fan you will be aware of the docking capability, by dragging windows to a certain part of the screen you are able to dock that screen as a side bar or top bar. The new version of Chrome has the same capability with its tabs. Try it out :) its going to  make blogging lots of fun :P

Today’s Funny

Windows Live Writer – Offline posting

Windows Live Writer is a windows tool that you can use to post on your blog.  The layout of the tool is, to my opinion, better than the one blogger uses, but mostly because it resembles the office look and feel. It captures the layout of your blog and then uses it for preview purposes.  The best feature for me is the ability to write posts offline and then save them as drafts.

You have a lot more options when it comes to inserting objects like pictures, tables, maps(you can add maps!?), hyperlinks, videos etc. For example, on the pictures you can now watermark, tilt, make it sepia and add borders like rounded corners, photo paper, drop shadow and even reflections. 

If this is not enough you can always add a plug-in or five.  Check what we’ve done with the “Polaroid Picture” plug-in.  Pretty awesome stuff. 

 

If you are one of those crazy people that has more then one blog, it’s fine.  You can add them all, even your windows live space and SharePoint blogs. 

This is just to mention a few of the things I like about this tool, and I haven’t even started to push it’s boundaries.  I would strongly suggest this app to any blogger.  It feels like Christmas! :-)

Download Windows Live Writer here. 

M

.Net Development for the IPhone

Novell has for many years been accredited with the development of Security software. They love building their own runtimes and making sure that everything works to the point. They recently developed an environment called “Mono” that simulates the .Net framework. They are going to port this technology to the IPhone that will allow .Net programmers to develop applications for the IPhone by moving away from Objective-C. Here is the catch: The monoTouch Enterprise Edition is available at a 1 year subscription for $999. I Sure hope you develop a kick ass up to cover this cost. Oh well here is hoping for some richer applications

Google Fast Flip, how to read news on the internet

Google Fast flip in the new innovation from the google labs team and i must say that these guys are moving the web in a favourable position. Fast Flip were developed to encourage users to read more and to faster get to a article of interest. It works as follows: you have 3 sections, each section covers a specific topic that you can customize. Each section then allows you to load a new row view of pages of interest and i must say its fast. When you see something you like, you can click on it to navigate to that specific web article or web site.

Give it a go, its like have a newspaper you control on your browser.
Find the link here : FastFlip

Today's Funny

Bing 2.0 Comming Soon

Should Google be worrying? Microsoft had a big employee meeting in a baseball stadium in Seattle yesterday. And wow was the employees shocked. Apparently Bing 2.0 will be coming soon, the date is quite unsure but it will definitely be delivered with in the next couple of months.

Monte Enbysk, a senior editor of Microsoft Office Live, tweeted following a demo there, "Bing 2.0, out this month, has some exciting new features. Imagine seeing maps plus pics from the neighborhood of a restaurant to try."

Today's Funny

Like they say in Afrikaans. "'n boer maak 'n plan"


M

Google Search

Google the leaders in search is step by step trying to win back their searchers. Although they haven't loss millions of users they are not going to stand idly by and watch Bing take the new Bling-Bling along with their users. When visiting your new Google Page you might have noticed that the search bar got extended. Although this is a small change, google would like to put back the emphasis on search. This is what google had to say about the search bar on their blog.

"Although this is a very simple idea and an even simpler change, we're excited about it — because it symbolizes our focus on search and because it makes our clean, minimalist homepage even easier and more fun to use. The new, larger Google search box features larger text when you type so you can see your query more clearly. It also uses a larger text size for the suggestions below the search box, making it easier to select one of the possible refinements."

A very interesting change indeed. Wonder what they are going to think of next. Well check it out on www.google.com

Cat of the week

Today's Funny

Bafana bafana has come up with a new "winning" strategy for the 2010 soccer!



M

Monopoly City Streets

In economics, a monopoly exists when a specific individual or an enterprise has sufficient control over a particular product or service to determine significantly the terms on which other individuals shall have access to it. If there is one thing the board game has driven us to do, it is to never lend money to siblings ever again. Monopoly has changed the view on properties for quite some time, but the new intuitive taken was bold and daring and quite interesting. Monopoly City Street allows you to play monopoly with google maps and take over the world.

You play live with players from around the world and start with 3million Monopoly Money. Buy any street and start your own empire!! This is seriously fun and a must check out for any Internet gofer. A definitive must see!

Here is the link, happy hunting :P

Pigeon beats Telkom ADSL in data race

Yesterday Winston a homing pigeon made history in a race against Telkom ADSL line in delivering 4GB of data from Howick to Hillcrest, in KwaZule-Natal, South Africa.

He had to carry the data over 70km and managed to deliver the 4GB in 2 hours 6 minutes and 57 seconds. When he arrived at the destination, the Telkom line had downloaded just under four percent of the data. This is after he gave them a 26 minute head start as he waited for the company data to be downloaded onto the memory card. It was stated that it could take up to two days to download all of the data over a Telkom ADSL line.

The Rules of Pigeonrace2009

1. No Cats allowed
2. The same amount of data will be sent on the landline and via the pigeon, on a SD card ( 4 gigabytes)
3. The race is from Howick to Hillcrest
4. The Pigeon flys from Howick to Gillits, and then will be transported via car to the finish site ( where the landline data will arrive)
5. The day will be announced closer to the time
6. Birdseed must not have any performance enhancing seeds within.
7. Data is not to be compressed.

For years now South Africa has been in a cyber stone age, with slow, high cost internet. The Unlimited Group initiated the pidgeon race to enphasize the problem. They surely made a big statement.

Read the full article or check out the home page.

M

Today's Funny

If she hasn't yet, she will soon.



M

Programmer or Drug Dealer

This post is a lot like the one where Programmers were compared with prostitutes. Funny stuff when you start to think about it. You just can't argue with the facts. Lol.




M

Chuck Norris Programming Jokes

Last night we got the urge to go check out some Mr T, Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Vernon Koekemoer jokes. We had a laugh all over again. Here are some of the programming jokes that I found for Chuck. The guy surely is BAD ASS.



1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.

2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.

3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.

4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.

5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.

6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().

7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.

8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.

9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.

10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it).

11. Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.

12. Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.

13. The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

14. Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.

15. Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.

16. Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.

17. “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris.

18. Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.

19. Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.

20. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

21. Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm.

22. Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

23. Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

24. Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

25. When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”.

M

Programmer Jokes

Here are some of my favourite programming jokes. Hope you enjoy them.





Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.

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Q: How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
A: Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."

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"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
"No..."
"Inheritance."

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If you can touch it and you can see it, it's REAL.
If you can touch it but you can't see it, it's TRANSPARENT.
If you can't touch it but you can see it, it's VIRTUAL.
If you can't touch it and you can't see it, it's GONE.


-------------------------------------

The most important thing in the programming language is the name. A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language.

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There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks.

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Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

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The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

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The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea.

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CIA – Computer Industry Acronyms

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.

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“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”

-------------------------------------

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”

To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

-------------------------------------

Debugging: Removing the needles from the haystack.

-------------------------------------

It's 5:50 a.m., Do you know where your stack pointer is?

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You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.

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C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it
harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

-------------------------------------

The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can’t find a girlfriend with a good on her , reason 0 being that he has limited cache. So he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend — sometimes even without a secure socket. His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, “I hate commenting!” Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits. This resulted in a Syntax Error. Now she demanded a massage, but this was rejected as “Feature Creep.” He smacked her back-end and shouted, “Who’s your parent node?!” He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403. While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer. To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, “Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You’re 1337, baby!” This caused his stack to overflow, and he shot his GUI on her interface.

-------------------------------------

Software Development Cycles

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
6. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
7. Users find 137 new bugs.
8. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
9. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
10. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
11. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
12. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
13. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free…

-------------------------------------

A programmer finds himself in front of a committee that decides whether he should go to Heaven or Hell. The committee tells the programmer he has a say in the matter and asks him if he wants to see either Heaven or Hell before stating his preference.

“Sure,” the programmer replies. “I have a pretty good idea what Heaven is like, so let’s see Hell.” So an angel takes the programmer to a sunny beach, full of beautiful women in skimpy bikinis playing volleyball, listening to music and having a great time. “Wow!” he exclaims, “Hell looks great! I’ll take Hell!”

Instantly the programmer finds himself in red-hot lava with demons tearing at his flesh. “Where’s the beach? The music? The women?” he screams frantically to the angel.

“That was the demo,” the angel replies as she vanishes.

EveryStockPhoto

Everystockphoto searches free stock photos from many different online sources, including Flickr, stock.xchng, morgueFile and FreeRange. When you search for a term, Everystockphoto returns the results in a series of easy-to-navigate thumbnails with specific licensing agreements. A must view especially when you want something more than what google can deliver. Check it out here: everystockphoto.com

Browser Game: Urban Rivals

I like playing new games, keeps the Internet interesting :) If you like card games like magic then you will really love this game. It is simple and easy to begin and a lot of fun :) Urban Rivals lets you register quite easily and let you play in challenging level based arena's. Here is how it works. You get to play with 5 cards from your deck. Each card contains a damage and power rating. Each rating can be boosted with pills. The dynamics of the game comes in when you play against a skilled player and need to use your pills to your advantage to destroy the other players health while keeping your health in tack. You get money and experience for wining and you can level up your cards. :) really fun. But unfortunately it hasn't got me that hooked. Its fun to do in a break and fun to challenge other users but its not all that yet. Will love to see if they try and change the dynamics soon. Love it, its a must play. Check it out at : Urban-Rivals

Cat of the week

Happy Spring Day!!

It is the 1st of September and the people is the southern hemisphere are celebrating how awesome springs are! Woop woop!

I'm glad Winter is over. I froze my but off. Now it is almost the people at top's turn to freeze. Enjoy!

Break out the cake and dresses. :-) Spring is in the air!



Happy Spring Day!



M