It was a quiet, wet night with a light drizzle outside. My wife and I just arrived from a long flight from Russia, visiting her family whom we haven't seen in 2 years. As we a arrived at our small house in Johannesburg, neither Zhanna nor I were very verbose, as both of us were extremely tired from the long trip.
Speaking was never really Zhanna's strong point, she was quiet, lived in her own world, constantly drifting away in her thoughts, a real dreamer. I loved her for it, she was as graceful as a ballet dancer, soft spoken, very serious and loved vodka.
She never really said she loved me, but she always showed it. It was the little things that gave it away. A genuine person, no subtle games, no innuendo's, no guessing what bothers her, her body language and her eyes gave her away, she was an extremely good listener, and only spoke if she had good reason too.
Although I must tell you the only time Zhanna really came out of her muted state was when we spoke of life, love and everything else related to the subject. She really is passionate about things like that.
I placed that luggage in the foyer and both of us went upstairs to freshen up and go to bed, the luggage is tomorrows problem she said to me. When we got upstairs I told her to go and take a shower while I make us some coffee, we had this little expresso machine in our bedroom, life is just more worth it with those little luxuries, and both of us absoloutely loved coffee, part of the reason why I married this irresistable woman.
I had this little tradition every night every night, I would stand by the bathroom door and I would look at my wife and realize what a lucky guy I am to have fell in love and met someone like Zhanna. Her pale white complextion, her dark green eyes her brown hair that always smelled like summer rain,
''I love this woman'' - I would think to myself how could I ever be so lucky
There was a time in my life that I believed in the perfect love, but it got so lost when I got older that there was a time that I thought it would be forever lost, that is until Zhanna came along and reminded me what it is to love and be loved.
I started speaking to Zhanna
''I don't know, most people want to die in their sleep I suppose, calm and quiet, never expecting it''
''What do you mean?'' - Zhanna said
''How would you like to leave this world'' - I said
''Well, i suppose I would like to know in advance how I would die, to have some time to prepare. I think I would like to be diagnosed with cancer, maybe...''
''That is a starnge way of looking at it, I never really thought of it like that, what would you then do with this death sentence hanging over your head'' - I said
''Well, I think I would go toHawaii one more time with you where we spent our honeymoon and relive that wonderful time, I would enter a chess tournament with the big leagues just to see if i could do it, and lastly say goodbye to the ones I loved'' - Zhanna said
''How would you like to leave this earth my love'' - Zhanna said
''I don't know, but I definately am not ready to say goodbye yet, I have too much to live for'' - I said
She smiled as I kissed her on the forehead and left the room.
(to be continued)